Thursday, September 25, 2008

Campbell, I'm on bended knee.

Dear Campbell,

I’ve been thinking about the condition of our love, and since you haven’t responded to my last correspondence (is it still called correspondence when you’re not writing back?), I say congratulations to you. You’ve called my bluff and will be pleased to know that I’m taking you back sans conditions.

As a show of allegiance and for both calling you a MILF and suggesting that you thought you were too good for me, I intend on removing Chris’ head and dissolving his brain with a ceremonial Egyptian formula for mummification, known to my family since the time of the Moorish conquest of Iberia. You know what I mean, baby.
I’m sorry for threatening your kid too.

Endlessly,

C

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