Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Goodbye To Cambell Brown

Dear Campbell,

We’re through. After finally accepting the fact that you let another man put not only his weiner but a whole baby in you, I just can’t handle it. I don’t think the kid will ever be safe around me. I’m like a gerbil. I’ll eat the pink bastard. It all started last Friday, when my friend called you a “MILF.” At the time, I thought, “Ha! She is indeed a MILF, Chris,” but then I started to consider the terms of MILFdom. You see, for me, MILF has become interchangeable with the equally sexy “Cougar,” but as you know, that is oh so wrong.

So, we're through.

I know this is difficult for you, so I’ll offer you this solution: drown your boy; forget your old life; and become subservient to me. Think of how much more rewarding a life of semi-sexual servitude/slavery will be than a career! I’ll even allow a memento of your son, a finger bone perhaps, but that is all.

I hope you’ll give my offer serious consideration.

Always,

C

1 comment:

Bash said...

Good riddance! She always acted too good for you anyway.

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