Sarah finally spoke the day before yesterday, and despite her relative youth and attractiveness, she sounded like “Nova” from Planet of the Apes. Praise Allah that the perpetual quarter chub I’ve had in her presence finally shrank to a manageable noodle of impotence. I was having trouble ignoring the awkwardness it was creating during “Twister Thurday” with Lieberman and all the Republican members of the Appropriations Committee (except Kay Bailey Hutchison).
Anyway, Sarah was immediately subject to the same intrusive questions as I was with that Harvard Negroman (who, by-the-way, did not assault me). I was thrilled that her continuous response to the toughest questions was a repeating, “Oh, so horny....Ohh, so horny...Ohh, so horny. Me love you love time.” She answered exactly as we had rehearsed and even in the right Vietnamese accent and intonation, but my aide, who was sitting beside me, fainted and I swear I could hear his ulcer sizzling in his stomach, or maybe it was mine. Cindy had mixed me up a mess of broccoli and cheese before the debate. I put my hand over my belly and then over my aide’s, but I didn’t feel anything.
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5 weeks ago