Tuesday, October 7, 2008

It's Love

Dear Campbell,

I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just come out with it: I'm in love with another woman. Her name is Rachel Maddow, and like you, she's a part of the liberal media circuit but at MSNBC. I think I love her for her androgyny. She has short boyish hair, minimal makeup, aggressively handsome tone, and a cutting laugh. I must admit, I didn't find her particularly attractive at first because I thought she was a lesbian, and I try to separate my love from love that can never be, but I'm starting to think she is not gay but rather a woman reared around a pack of boys. Either way, her show, "The Rachel Maddow Show," is on at 9pm, well after "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report." Those two guys are a big reason my eye has strayed in the first place. You see, your show is on the entire hour of both half-hour Comedy Central programs, and I can't watch everything unless I'm omnipresent or have a split screen TV, which I don't. Split screen. Imagine if your and Rachel's show were on at the same sexy time! I'd have to make a visit to the TV store.

Your Friend,



Bash said...

you are officially gay.

C. Andres Alderete said...

Gay for you, cutie.

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