Tuesday, February 24, 2009

No Reason At All

I was enjoying my copy A People’s History of the United States when I read an excerpt of an excerpt from a popular 1700s “pocket book” and suddenly enjoyed it more. It was a guideline for the subjugation of women called Advice to a Daughter, and it reads as follows:

"You must first lay it down for a Foundation in general, That there is Inequality in Sexes and that for the better Oeconomy of the World; the Men, who were to be the Law-givers, had the larger share of Reason bestow’d upon them; by which means your Sex is better prepar’d for the Compliance that is necessary for the performance of those Duties which seem’d to be most properly assign’d to it...Your Sex wanteth our Reason for your Conduct, and our Strength for your Protection: Ours wanteth your Gentleness to soften, and to entertain us."

Folks, what’s happened to our colonial values? I mean, we were nearly stuck with a woman president for Heaven’s sake. What ever would my superior sex have done when for 84 days of the year (give or take viscosity) our “larger share of Reason” became evident? What if she had, for “wanteth [of] our Reason,” turned to a man like Ahmad Dinejad for “Conduct”? She could have brought the entire free market to its knees! And where would we be then? Without the greater reasoning of men, people would lose their jobs and homes and savings and hopes and dreams. Banks would fail because it’s reasonable to stop lending when people have good credit, just like it’s reasonable to lend when people don’t have good credit. In a woman’s adorable hands, headless wars would be fought into consecutive quagmires and trillions of taxpayer dollars would be pulverized and perfumed into hair products before being rejected and shipped as MMR vaccinations to Third World countries. This could still happen, people because that’s the path this country has taken since ignoring the wisdom of Advice to a Daughter. I know this because I'm a man, and I reasoned my way through it.


Bash said...

And who says chivalry is lost?

C. Andres Alderete said...

I guess that was a little postmodern chivalry, eh?

Katy F said...

Why were you reading that in the first place? Forget it I don't want to know. (Sorry for using this man-intended computer device by the way.)

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