Saturday, March 21, 2009

Bail me out, jerks

Sometimes I wish the government would step in and plug my anal expulsive behavior with the 100 dollar bills they’re corking into AIG’s ass. I’ve been an idiot with money a lot longer than these financial corporations, but I’ve never been commended with even a blue ribbon. Praise Allah* I’m working 60 hours a week now and can afford to pay the taxes necessary to preserve capitalism and to keep rich people rich.

*An idiot I work with informed me that if I put a turban on my head I’d look like a terrorist. Since I knew he was making a sweeping Muslim statement, I told him that if he did nothing, he’d look like an asshole (the generalization irritated me not the religious association. Jesus and Allah can go blow each other).

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