Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I didn't want your stupid wine anyway!

Text Message:

Michael- “Maynard James Keenan is going to be at Whole Foods tomorrow.”

Carlos- “Details.”

Michael- “He’s doing a signing for his new wine label from 4:30 to 7:30.”

Carlos- “Thank you, sir.”

Michael- “No problem.”

Immediate Fantasy:

Carlos- “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Keenan. I was a huge Tool fan in high school.”

Maynard- “Please, call me Maynard.”

Carlos- “Thanks, Maynard. Want to hang out?”

Maynard- “Yes.”

Next Day:

Carlos- “Where’s Maynard?”

Whole Foods Clerk- “You need to get a ticket and stand in line, but unless you picked one up earlier today, you probably won’t get in.”

Second Clerk (walks up)- “All the tickets are gone.”

Original Clerk- “All the tickets are gone. You can still see him in Houston, though.”

Carlos- “But if I look out this window I can see him, right?”

Original Clerk- “No, he’s in a whole closed-off section. It’s kinda the way he rolls.”

Carlos’ Soul- “Bitch.”

2 comments:

Bash said...

Tool sucks... they're the 90s equivalent of Rush - which also sucks.

C. Andres Alderete said...

YOU suck.

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