Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Back to Comedy

People, don’t watch I Love You, Man. It’s a chick flick disguised as a...dick flick, and it’s a piece of rancid garbage written by and for stupid morons. Granted, I walked out a little over an hour in, but what I did see was enough to make me nearly lose all respect for Paul Rudd and that guy from Freaks and Geeks. Why, you ask, was it so bad? Well I won’t tell you. To answer that question is to validate the movie as a legitimate something to consider seeing, and I can’t in good conscience do that. Just know that I rarely peace out in the middle of a movie, and I never try to drown myself in a bath tub immediately afterward. Apparently, I Love You, Man was the perfect storm because I did both.

On a completely different subject, I’ve added some wonderful new features to my gorgeous blog. They are as follows:
1. You may now demonstrate your love and devotion to me by becoming one of the “Really Cool People” who walk in the long shadow of my brilliance, but only if you’re Googlers, I think. I’ll probably remove it in a few weeks out of shame and embarrassment for not having any more than one subscriber (thank you, Sharon, for standing bold and alone as my one and number one fan). We’ll see. I plan to launch an aggressive campaign to capture all you readers still on the fence as to whether or not you want to commit to the sheer comedy I represent.
2. I also added some generic advertisements that are spawned by gremlins in my computer whenever a page is loaded. The content of these beauties is based on the foul things I write about, so the more creative I get, the more intrinsically precious my blog becomes. Needless to say, the entertainment value of what’s been generated thus far has outweighed the initial disgrace I felt over trying to profit from what I consider a hack business (blogging). But now, you too can locate single black women in even a rural area, and if you’re a Christian housewife, there’s a butt-load of cash to be made by simply converting to Judaism and writing a memoir of your sacrifice.
It’s all there, folks, in the tight column to your left.

6 comments:

Sharon said...

I'm so glad you pointed out those adverts. Cause now I'm officially a registered member of BlackPeopleMeet.com (fingers crossed!)and I'm also enjoying pics of "hot geeky girls" (fingers crossed!).

Hot AND geeky?! Who knew!

Eloquently,
Your Number One Fan

P.S. Bodisafa is crowding my Really Cool People space.

Guilda said...

Sell out!

With luv, jess

Chrissy said...

You had me at "really cool people."

C. Andres Alderete said...

Sharon, you should kill Bodisafa. Just a suggestion.
Jess, eat a coiled turd.
Chrissy, that's what you are, cool, like stripper cool (even though you technically told me to go to Hell (I love the abuse)).

Chindiana said...

thanks for the I Love You Man feedback. Was planning on buying a copy from my friendly neighborhood pirate. just saved me US2.50!

C. Andres Alderete said...

It's no Role Models. That's worth renting and pirating yourself.

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