1991: It takes exactly fifteen minutes for a baby bird to asphyxiate to death. As a child, I watched wide-eyed as the one I had “rescued” choked on the food I’d just served it.
2003: Small birds kill other small birds and eat just their heads. I watched this, again, wide-eyed while parked in my car, listening to the radio before work.
2009: The diameter of a grackle’s vagina is approximately 3mm. I saw one as it post-coitally closed after her mate dismounted. The experience was less traumatic than 1991 and less unsettling than 2003, but it was strange and pornographic, and I almost wrecked my car.
After the bird vagina, I had to speak out.
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