1) I spoke to a child who was so young, I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. Twice. I dropped protocol and called the creature by its androgynous first name in order to spare my dignity the indignity of speaking formally to a child. I can probably be canned for that, but whatever. I have my limitations.
2) A two-faced woman called and immediately fell into a whiny sob for much of our phone call, and after massaging my heart strings into sympathy, she screeched "This is fucking bullshit" when we'd said our goodbyes but before we had properly disconnected. I felt used and foolish for believing her to be a sweet woman. She'd mentioned a husband, so I hereby hex her marriage to a loveless facade.
3) One man had a severe speech and hearing impediment and kept forcing me to spell common words using an idiot phonetic alphabet: Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo! Though frustrated that I sounded like a Vietnam field radio, I felt bad for the guy 'cause he kept apologizing for himself. I sometimes stammer when I get excited, so I get you brotha. *high-five/chest bump*
4) Two consecutive callers had sexy, California-girl voices, and I had to reflect on my own psychology after the last one admitted a preference for Texas men and kept playfully trying to figure out what town I was in. Why did I take on a cool, flirtatious tone? And who's the bigger weirdo: the woman breathing heavily into her phone or the man squirming in his office chair, 1,500 miles away? I concluded that I've been sexually deprived all week and must speak with my darling Gilda about her next demonstration of love for me.
People are fascinating.