Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Start the Revolution!

My step-daddy and I wax politics pretty much every time we're together. Often times, I'm hung over and not in the mood to argue, but he's a Bush-blowing republican, and I sometimes have to explain to him that his position is stupid. It was during one of these Sunday brunch discussions that an important term was born in my mind: social capitalism. That's what I am. A social capitalist. I thought of it in reflexive defense at being called a communist, and it ricocheted around my skull as the perfect label for my political opinions. In short, socialism makes sense but is not cool if you make a lot of money, and capitalism also makes sense but is really not cool if you don't make a lot of money. The solution? You guessed it: social capitalism. Socialism will bring the most impoverished of Americans back to a prideful standard of living, and the geyser of money that the super-rich enjoy will lose it's momentum about a mile up and splash down to fund the social part. The filthy rich will remain in their gluttonous stys, but not so powerful that they can control the world. I understand this model is a simple presentation* but Obama and I can iron out the details once he appoints me Chancellor and eventually Fuhrer. You see for me, it comes down to this: I only have one life and then I'm worm food. I don't like spending it struggling to keep my head above water to maintain the wealth of an extraordinarily small percentage of the country. If I become sick, I'm screwed. Wreck my car? Screwed. If I lose my jobs, the devils I've stupidly climbed into bed with start squeezing my balls. And I'm fortunate. I have my health. I have a car. I have not one, but two jobs, and I managed to get an education. There are people in this country eating salmonella straight out of dumpsters but still hold fast to this competitive system of government because it breeds the mindset that one day, one day their ship will come in. That's why I keep it up, I guess, but at least I recognize that I'm just a cog in someone else's money-making machine.
I heard a bit on NPR yesterday debating the fed-sponsored healthcare proposal that would compete with the private sector (another aspect of social capitalism that we are already exercising, e.g. the postal service, education, 5-0, and (drum roll) federal taxes). Ol' Mitt Romney was quick to point out that people would flock to the free one and destroy competition in the healthcare industry. That may be true and it may not, but he sounded so passionate in that sound byte, so strong in his convictions that I wondered why exactly he wanted to make keeping people well a commodity. I need to stay healthy like I need water. Why not make water availability more competitive, Boss Romney? It's relatively inexpensive right now, but I have a feeling that people will pay big bucks if you take it away and increase demand. Holy crap I'm glad Romney's not the president (or VP Palin, while I'm flinging feces).
If you're a republican reading this blog, you're A-OK in my book, but if I've offended your ridiculous political stance, know that the insult came not from a democrat, but from a social capitan, and I'll reconcile the dispute with a slippery french kiss (that's how we do it).

*I Googled the term "social capitalist" right before posting, and to my initial sadness but eventual celebration, there's a wiki article with the exact same conclusions I came to but in greater detail. I think that qualifies me as a genius.

13 comments:

f8hasit said...

Carlos...I'm a republican or at least have voted that way in the past, but think that all politicians are crap. We were going to lose no matter who won the last election. Or the last several, or lets even say the next few! But no matter your views or voting tendencies, I love you anyway.

Raed that book. I'm an Objectivist, but they don't have a political party named that yet. Then let's talk. I'll make brunch...
:-)

Chris said...

Sounds good to me, can I be Vice Fuhrer?

Sharon Reynolds said...

As I compare your post about'social capitalism' and then my last post about burping and Balki Bartokomous, I feel that we basically are saying the same thing and obviously are both quite intelligent.

Eeeeuuuuuurrrrp!

Bash said...

Socialism and communism are great ideas on paper but don't factor in the human spirit.

C. Andres Alderete said...

Nancy, I agree with you completely. Even Obama, whom I would obey if he told me to slap my grandmother, is still a glad-handed politician who's mastered doublespeak.
I'll only agree to brunch if I can watch you make it. I don't want my throat swelling from rat poison when I'm in the middle of a brilliant point ;)
And lastly, thank you for loving me unconditionally.

C. Andres Alderete said...

Vice Fuhrer it is, Chris. Just don't forget your place.

Sharon, any post mentioning Perfect Strangers is pretty much amazing.

Bash. Ah, my sweet Bash. Capitalism looks good on paper too but factor in the human spirit, and it gets just as warped. Remember the collapse of the Soviet Union? We're not out of the woods yet, my friend, and if one superpower can eat shit, so can another.

Awesome Sara said...

i think we have seen that republian-ism has really fucked us in the ass without any lube. democratic is the way, the only way!!!! we will makes things better. i just obama knows what he is doing bc when i see him he just looks like another dumb-ass president, with a bit of a tan, who is using my tax dollars to buy clothing with bows on them for his ugly-ass wife, who by the way can't pull them off. geez. not everyone can wear bows! stupid bitch. am i rabbling again, i lost my train of thought. oh yea, i remember your stepdad is an ass.

C. Andres Alderete said...

That's quite the angry rant, Sara, but in defense of my step-dad...he's not an ass.

Blush said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon Reynolds said...

And he looks great in bows.

Bash said...

The Soviet Union collapsed due to their economy - which started going bust in the 70s. The US economy is and has been the strongest for a long long time... It still holds almost half of the world's worth. In fact during the recent recession it's worth has gone up in percentage while the majority of others has stayed the same from the previous year or declined (reliant upon the US's economy) In any case, my point Carlos, my sweet Carlos, is the world is dependent upon the US and we aren't going anywhere.

C. Andres Alderete said...

While I respect your opinion, Chris, I think you are roundly missing the point.

Awesome Sara said...

no i didn't mean he was a total ass, just an ass bc he's not on our side. sorry. anywho, my man thinks its funny you wanted to hit on him. i'm just warning you i am an irrational, jealous, knife weidling kind of gal.

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