Sunday, August 30, 2009

Literary Devolution

So, I’ve submitted a short story to a prominent, East-Coast publication and hope to have another one polished up and ready for submission by Monday. Each story is sexist and certainly chauvinistic, a theme and tone I can’t seem to remove myself from, but I am what I am so whatever. They are regressions by all cultural purposes, but I’ve nurtured them from my dime-sized teat since they were mere semiotes of my cojones (Semiote is a term I invented in my mad linguistic laboratory, directly relating to semiotics. If you don’t understand what that means, it’s okay (but I’m judging you)), and I’m bringing back the chest-pounding literature of yesteryear with a barbarous swing of my club. Do you see how in one, albeit divided, breath, I admitted then demonstrated declination with savagery? It can’t be helped. And why should it? I’m a man for god’s sake. Why shouldn’t I celebrate my thick-skulled brutality? It’s the only thing I’m truly good at. 
None of this means much to you, of course, unless you’re one of the few people who have read both stories, but fear not, for I am relentlessly trying to be a published writer.
I haven’t heard back from The New Yorker, but it’s only been a couple weeks. Their submission guidelines warned me that I could wait up to six months for a response, but my defense mechanisms require I stand detached and distant from hope as there are many, many writers who write...buttloads better’n me. The Sun will have the next honor of receiving my prose. It’s less well known than The New Yorker, but it values personal essays, and though mine is only a few simple pages of my jiggling ding-dong, I find it very agreeable.
Wish me luck.


Chrissy said...

Good for you! I'm sure you'll get published. Good Luck! :-)

f8hasit said...

Could you send me a signed photo?

That way when you become a famous published writer I can sell it on ebay.


Best of luck. Oh, and when you ARE published, can you introduce me to your publisher?

C. Andres Alderete said...

Thank you, ladies. Nancy, I'll send you a photo with me reclining with a boa contrictor.

Chris Hoke said...

I'm sort of new to reading your blog but am quite fond of your writing already. I have only the best of wishes for your publication-related endeavors. Best of luck, sir.

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