Saturday, October 17, 2009

Without Motivation, You're Just a Jerk.

I was "shopping" at HEB, holding a 40oz Corona, a lime, and a frozen pizza under my arm when my radar eyes fell upon Austin Monthly and the gorgeous folk singer Erin Ivey on its cover. Naturally, I looked closer and found that there was a section naming Austin's most beautiful women. Being the consistent creep that I am, I leaned comfortably against a mound of produce and fanned the magazine's pages until beautiful people started appearing. Most of them were overly done-up cougars, fives on my chauvinist's scale, but one of these demi-beauties was my age. More importantly she went to my high school. Holy crap, she graduated in my class. My, how she'd blossomed. I remember when she was a skinny geek who was shot in the leg when a hillbilly named Dale accidentally fired a gun in class. She's a real estate guru now. She's also an entrepreneur. And a philanthropist. And a model. Oh yeah, and she's featured in a magazine for her accomplishments.
Which brings me to my greater point: what do I do? I make dick costumes for myself on Halloween (See previous post. Or don't. I'm ashamed). I'm in serious need of something to be proud of, folks. Sigh. Don't think that I'm completely wallowing in self-pity. I mean, I am, but a wonderful positive to this whole deflating ordeal was that within ten minutes of leaving the grocery store, I was buying fourteen sets of postage for the seven short stories I'd been meaning to submit to publications across the United States. Seven for the stories, seven for the victory/rejection SASEs. Four more were submitted electronically. I've been putting that off for months, but it took one moment of loser self-actualization to spur immediate action.
I feel better already. I'd rather fail than wonder if I could have succeeded. Know what I mean, Vern?
I'll get back to you.


sjayk said...

Dear, C.

Don't be such a C. It's not about recognition until you get recognition. You haven't peaked yet because reaching the peak means you are featured in a magaizine for not really having achieved much of anything. Keep not being published for reasons that so many people are published. It's a crappy prize.

Phillipia said...

Good luck on getting published.

Keep us posted...

f8hasit said...

If they don't accept your short story, perhaps you could mass market the dick costumes?

That would be recognition befitting an amazingly handsome Texas man as yourself.

carma said...

Sounds like progress to me! I've not accomplished much, and I've got 10 years on ya - just think what you can accomplish in 10 years if you keep at it! Hey, I'm sounding like one of those "life coaches" I keep seeing on Twitter and poking fun at :D

Chrissy said...

Hey, look at all the followers you have! Remember when it was just us?

Baby steps.

Bash said...

That was you who shot her in the leg wasn't it?

C. Andres Alderete said...

sjayk, I don't know how I feel about you using my first initial a slur. Despite what you say, being published would rock.

Thanks, Phillipia. I will.

I thought about mass marketing my indecencies, Nancy, but the market would be small. No pun intended.

Thanks, Coach.

Chrissy, by "baby steps" do you mean the Nobel Prize? Because that's what I want.

I was aiming for her heart, Chris...with love's arrow. She's totally hot. Check out the mag.

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