Sunday, December 19, 2010

Austin is dead to me.

So, I’ve moved to San Francisco and before you ask, no, I don’t have a job ready to scoop me up. Also, don’t suggest your San Franciscan friends to me unless they’re busty sex maniacs who think all Texans are lonely cowboys that have trouble expressing their emotions. I could somehow use that to my diabolical advantage.

Anyway, I’ve moved to San Francisco. Austin’s a cool scene but I’ve been meaning to explore the radically left sensibilities that have consumed a substantial amount of my political brain, and what better place to do so than the prototypical American city of liberal discontent?* I would have gone East Coast with equal speed and enthusiasm but the west presented itself to me and I’ve wanted to poke around out here for a solid decade.

If you’re a friend and didn’t know I was ditching town, I apologize, but rest assured that you are in the majority. Like most other things that shine a scrutinizing and embarrassing spotlight on my activity, I kept my plans a loosely controlled secret. Have you ever left your state? A lot of people you never socially interact with suddenly want to get to know you better. And vice versa. For all my grumpy introversion, I found myself prematurely missing people I hadn’t seen in years.

Oh well.

I’ll see them again. I still have to go back and pick up my machete, hunting bow, knives, and my pistolas for when the global economy collapses and it’s every man for himself. What, did you think just because I’ve drastically changed locations that I’m suddenly cured of my paranoid malcontent? Don’t be an asshole.

The Golden Gate Bridge (post Apocalypse)

*My lovingly conservative beau-père, Ronaldo, assured me that I will return to Austin a gay communist, a sentiment that represents, in full, my overwhelming desire to leave Texas.

6 comments:

Julie Buz. said...

OHMYGAAAHD!

I have a friend in SF! (Hahaha... just wanted to bug you.)

May only good things come your way in the city of the gentle folk.

Thrilled to have you back! YAAAAAY!

C. Andres Alderete said...

Gentle folk and crazy people, I've noticed.

JennAventures said...

I've been in Texas 3 days now...and I've already heard 8 anti-sematic remarks and had eyebrows raised when I said some of my closest friends are Iranian and Saudi. Alledgedly this makes me a terrorist.

I hope you are having an amazing time!

Sharon Reynolds said...

Wow.

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

Sadly my busty, sexaholic friend in San Fran is currently going through a sex change and hasn't lost the important part yet. Shim's really pretty though;)
I do know an artist wiccan lady in her 60s who lives there. She's wild. I keep a collection of characters in my arsenal. Mountains are neat for that too.

Alex Adams said...

Wow, the cool people are leaving Texas! I'm Oregon-bound very, very soon.

Good luck out there. :)

Related Posts with Thumbnails