Thursday, January 27, 2011

The outside

I’m pretty sure if I stay inside much longer I’ll start to resemble Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, only I won’t have an evil ring to make me feel sexy. If I had a ring that could render me invisible, I’m absolutely certain I wouldn’t remain indoors. I’d prowl the globe with god-like amorality and really, people, am I the only asshole who’d turn directly to the Dark Side?* Shhhh, you don’t have to answer. I’d start out small, of course, with only a handful of vault robberies, but eventually I’d end up in Vatican City to see what the pope does in his spare time. The pope and George Bush, Sr. Those are two people I would intensely watch for secrets and easy blackmail material for obtaining secrets. I wonder if invisibility has an effect on amateur photography. Is exposure even an issue in this digital age? Anyway, the flash probably wouldn't work.

On second thought, maybe not the pope. Benedict is kind of wraith-looking and I don’t want to risk the unnerving feeling that he might actually be able to see me . . . or the Precious. HISSSSS! Maybe not Bush, Sr. either. With my luck, he and the ring would be using me to get to each other and then Jeb would take the White House. I guess I’ll just stick to looking into famous people’s windows/accompanying them to their primary physicians’ office. I don’t know where I was going with this. Oh, yeah. Outside. I haven’t been there in a while.

*Wow. I’ve referenced The Lord of the Rings AND Star Wars in this post. Sigh. I’m ashamed.


Chindiana said...

At least you didn't throw in a Titanic reference Carlos. Thank you O merciful One! yeah and old pope Ben is a scary feller sorta Palpatine like...

Dreamfarm Girl said...

how about Barbara Bush? Not the daughter; the mother. What's SHE doing?? You're right; I don't want to know.

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